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Tina and I abstained from school students, and we remained very good friends with Grace and Don, and, of course, our special friendship with Amanda. Oh, we kept our word and had no more sex with Amanda. She had her boyfriend with whom she was very happy. But when we went on picnics, trips or other family functions with the Johnson's — Amanda was there with us and sometimes even brought Bobby with her. She kept talking freely about everything and asking for advice from time to time. I think she even told Bobby about our past together, as he had the same attitude towards all of us.One weekend in the middle of the summer holidays, Grace announced that she has invited friends to the picnic we planned together. These were supposed to be a Mrs. Bando and her twin kids. The name did not ring any bells with either Tina or with me so we didn't give it any further thought.When we all met at the picnic ground I was a bit distraught. Mrs. Bando turned out to be Suzy's mother, and we just learned. I do not understand why I still come. There is no smell of Kitik any longer, it is gone very soon, there is only the empty water where he is before. Yet still I come, I must come again and again, it is only in this place that I feel right with me.The hunt is good, all eat well. I finish my hunger, and I am very hungry. And after, all have joy, there is leaping and playing and happiness. I alone have no joy. My hunger is gone now, but there is another hunger in me that cannot be filled by eating.Altauk will no longer come with me. None of the others will come. They tell me I cannot always live in shadow, no good can come of it. I know they are right.But they are not there when Mother and I find the tiny calf alone and starving, its own mother caught in a great weed and drowned. I could free her from the weed if I were older, I learn that almost always one may escape the weed if one is calm and does not take fright and entangle oneself. But I am small myself then, and besides we are not.
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